Chuck Norris Programming facts
- The system works because Chuck Norris tells it to work
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need a test suite. The test suite needs Chuck Norris.
- CPUs run faster to get away from Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris normalizes all schema just by inserting random data
- Packets travel faster than the speed of light for Chuck Norris, but he can still catch them
- Chuck Norris’s brain is his revision control, and it works better than git
- Chuck Norris can finish an infite loop in 1.3 seconds.
- Code written by Chuck Norris cannot be optimized.
- Chuck Norris never dies. He simply returns 0.
- Chuck Norris can break Moore’s Law
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need compilers nor editors. He roundhouse kicks the disk and the bytecode appears.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t use GOTO. Code comes to him.
- There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Chuck Norris allows to occur.
- 90% of the worlds spam is handtyped by Chuck Norris. It takes him only 3 minutes.
- Chuck Norris can parse invalid XML
- Every time you don’t use “use strict” Chuck Norris kills a kitty.
- The best compression algorithm in existence are Chuck Norris fists.
- Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
- Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors
- The one true bracing style is the one Chuck Norris uses.
- Every program Chuck Norris has written can be run backwards. It will rollback whatever it did.
- No matter how you encrypt your traffic, Chuck Norris can read it by just looking at the cable. His ears can intercept wifi transmissions.
- Chuck Norris can enrich himself simply by hacking your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.
- MVC actually stands for Model-View-ChuckNorris. Controller is just one of his nicknames.
- Chuck Norris was written in C# which itself was written in Chuck Norris
- You don’t follow Chuck Norris on Twitter. He follows you, finds you, and kills you
- The design of Silverlight DeepZoom was directly inspired by Chuck Norris’ powers of bionic vision.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t write code…oh no, he thinks about the finished product and the code appears.
- Chuck Norris has no need for virtual methods. Nothing can override Chuck Norris.
- A synchronize operation doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
- Chuck Norris invented recursion to see what would happen if he roundhouse kicked himself.
- Chuck Norris can multi-thread on a single processor by breaking it into pieces.
- Chuck Norris wrote a program that calculated the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris’ compiler is afraid of displaying warnings to him. It just fixes the code automatically.
- Chuck Norris uses Vista with UAC turned on. He has received no warnings. Ever.
- Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.
